Digg and Kent walk into a bar. Everybody there gets creeped out.
Topics:Slavery was started by friendly White women from Minnesota. When Saturday is Monday, this job sucks. Serving customers is HELL. Bathroom artistry. The Toxic Avenger should sell out. Working in a Despair factory. Can’t you tell I’m JOKING?
I recently learned from Twitter that teenagers have taken Flash Mobbing to FLASH ROBBING. “Teenager” is here used as a euphemism. More accurately, as one Youtube uploader puts it, “Pack of Jigs Rob Store”.
I blame OPRAH.
The Black Eyed Peas helped her open the 24th season of her show with a giant choreographed flash mob in downtown Chicago. This is when MILLIONS of middle-aged Black women first learned of flash mobbing. Afterwards, urban mothers – who normally view computers as a dreaded work tool – demanded their children find it on “the Youtubes”.
This is when urban youth FIRST learned of flash mobs. It’s an event that leaves a lasting impression. It didn’t take long to soak into hood vernacular. At one neighborhood rhyme cypher, this crime was conceived in freestyle composition:
“My crew move together
like a FLASH MOB.
Run ya jewels or whatever
as we RIP and ROB.”
The meter is off, but the IDEA becomes CLEAR: lets do a caper together at the same time and place!
I’m not sure if they used the term “caper”, but the Ebonic equivalent was no doubt bandied about by the bandits. Whose gonna suspect the twenty of us hanging around a store? Black men DON’T have a HARD enough time with racial profiling.
Just Flash Robbed a Men's Warehouse
Its not ALL bad. Flash Robbing demonstrates the youth using social media to coordinate entrepreneurial ventures in their community. The RACIST media isn’t reporting the waves of Flash Lemonade Stands popping up in cities across the country.
When I requested a comment from Ms. Winfrey on Twitter, she did not respond within a minute-long WAIT.
The young hip-hopist that first rhymed “mob” and “rob” isn’t available for contact and is likely MADE UP.
I’m a nerd, so I can talk about them much the same way I can talk about Black people. I can talk about Niggas too, even though I’m not one, but politically CORRECT RACISM says Black/Nigger is a tomato/tomoto kind of thing.
Actually, anyone can talk about nerds because its a HUMAN FLAW. Flaw? Yeah, I said it – or as a nerd would point out I “wrote” it and a dweeb would MOST correctly point out I “typed” it. Nitpickiness is subtle intellectual DOMINATION legitimized by truth, which clashes with the basic desire for social acceptance and equality. Wonder why nerds mainly organize in small groups like a pack of stray mutts? Its because of this anti-social ironically excluding aspect – the pack NEEDS to know, PICARD or SISKO?
No one is the Alpha
Over specialization or obsession in an area of obscure trivial interest MAKES you a NERD. Such focus in varying degrees separates the nerd from others of more common interest (normals, Muggles, non-mutants, non-Jedi) – and EVEN nerds of different type. Was Battlestar Galactica better than Babylon 5? The answer will earn you a nerd nemesis, NOT help with the national debt NOR arouse an ordinary geek girl – yet the battle for CORRECTNESS is like the quest of an unfashionable HIGHLANDER.
I’ve seen nerds on double dates – IT HAPPENS – get involved in HEATED debate and forget their girlfriends. These women will NEVER feel a tenth as much PASSION in their intimacy, so they politely chat with each other about Japanese animation – the wheelhouse of the average nerdette.
Rich people have rich people toys. I imagine Hugh Hefner’s favorite is some kind of Male-Enhancement belt. It pumps a Viagra/Bull Elephant Hormone cocktail through him and HIJACKS blood from other parts of his corpse to the crotch, giving him the sexual prowess of a sixty year old. The light-headed side effect explaining his DELLUSIONAL desire to marry women without a TRULYSICK attraction for old horny Uncle Hugh.
"Sweetie, is my heart beating?"
Chickadee in the pic with the mummy pimp is twenty-five year old Crystal Harris. She’s a sexy centerfold, human woman, hat wearer and Club Queen (who will get no sampling royalties). Generic blonde #674 broke off her seven month engagement to Hefner in the middle of June.
I guess the reason to be either her whole relationship with “sexy” grandpa was a publicity grab (a BRAND NEW marketing tactic) or she learned the definition of “MARRIAGE”. Reading IS fundamental – IF you know what this f-word means.
To add insult to ELDERLY, Harris in a recent interview said that sex with Hef lasted “two seconds”. Lady Female witnesses to this erotic MIRACLEspoke out in defense of the old fuck.
I BELIEVE them. Assuming Hef’s technique isn’t covering girls in tapioca and lapping them to climax, the belt must take a minute to power up, 15 minutes to generate an erection and a few more to hook up COMATOSE Casanova to life support equipment.
